I'm feeling a bit melancholy today--has to do some with the nasty weather, some with some strange dreams I've been having lately, some with just plain feelings I've been having lately, and some with coming down to wire where I'll be reporting to different schools here in a week. It is a very hard place to be: I feel like I don't totally fit in with my former coworkers as they discuss things that will be happening at school when I'm not going to be there...and I don't even know who I will 'hang out' with at my new schools. Shoemaker has always been known as a very close faculty, and I know I'm gonna have to adjust to that not being the case everywhere. I know that they will always be my friends, but I also have moved enough times to know that though you remain friends, it is never quite the same.
I was telling Chris last night that in a way it is worse than moving because I still see them and am around them, but just not with them. It is not easy, that's for sure. But then know that I have attachment issues after having to move and change schools so many times! LOL
So to the flashback for this song....this song came out when I was going through a rough but stupid breakup in high school. I don't even know why I went out with the guy. He was bad news from the beginning! But he was the #1 bad boy I was attracted to back then. I don't know, maybe I thought I could 'reform' him! LOL Either way, the breakup was definitely against my wishes, and I remember driving around crying to this song many times.
I will admit that it felt good to know I was over him the following summer. In the end, I put him in his place when he showed up at my house out of the blue! I was actually looking for another guy who was supposed to be coming over. Steve picked up on the fact that I was jumpy, and questioned me about it. So I asked,"Why did you even come up here?" and he said,"I just wanted to see you..." and I answered,"Well, you've seen me!" Oh, that made him mad! He started cussing me (as he often did back when we were dating--can we say verbally abusive?!) and peeled out. I only saw him one other time after that, and truly, fear went through me that last time. Looking back, he was very much verbally and emotionally abusive. Real winner of a guy huh??
And added plus to this song is that it was written by Prince! Need I say more?!
You may be thinking why is she remembering this loser she dated back in the day? He's ancient history! It reminds me of the first time I realized that I was stronger than I thought I was. It reminds me of making good choices in the end. It reminds me of the start of a very good time in my life and the end of a very foolish and painful time. It reminds me that God is good if only we will Trust Him!
So there ya go. Hear the song and think of me!
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