3rd child guilt!

I'm feeling guilty. I remember when we had Isaac's first birthday party, I had it totally planned, right down to decorations matching the cake matching pictures I downloaded and enlarged and colored to his outfit that matched the decorations! Now with Adam's birthday, I don't remember it as distinctly, probably cause I had two kids to keep up with! But I do remember that we had decorations! Today we are having Robbie's first birthday party, and we'll be lucky to get there on time and have guests! I feel bad for Robbie, though I know he'll never remember it or probably even care (since he's a boy!) So why am I torturing myself over it? I know I love him as much as I do Isaac, I just have a different life now than I did ten years ago (yes--my oldest turned TEN almost 2 weeks ago! Where does time go?!).

I do however, hate that we won't have as many family members there today. You see, Chris' family has numerous members who were born in March: both his grandparents, two aunts, multiple cousins, and Chris himself. And on my side of the family, my Mom celebrates her birthday on St. Patrick's Day! We always had a March birthday party in the Scott family leading up to Isaac's birthday, and then we hosted the March party for several years ourselves. The tradition seemed to die somewhat after Chris' Papaw died. His Mamaw is still living, but is not in good health and won't be able to come to the party, and I'd be willing to bet all the aunts and uncles and cousins won't either. And again, I know that they mean no harm and that it isn't that they don't love the little fella, but I just hate that this is the case. Both my sisters are out of town this weekend...again, not a problem, I'll just miss them!

I know that the important thing is that we are there to celebrate his birth and first year with him, and I'll concentrate on that! We've had somewhere we had to be (at least Chris or me) this week every night, so we're tired, too!

So here's to almost a year of living as a family of five...something I never truly expected to do, but am so happy that I am!