Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Resolution

I hesitate to even say what I want to resolve to do this year, because to some, it may seem selfish. However, I have come to realize that sometimes in order to be the best mommy and wife that I can be, I have to be a little selfish and realize that I have to take care of ME sometimes, too.

I am very proud of my husband and older sons in that they have worked very hard over the past 2 + years, and have worked their way up to the black belt level of Tae Kwon Do. In that time period, I have also completed my Master's Degree, started a new itinerant job that has changed locations each year, had a pregnancy with complications, and given birth to a baby and helped raise him to this point. There have been many nights...normally 2-3 a week...that I have taken care of at least one child by myself so that Chris could be in classes. I do not begrudge him this, but I do believe that it is time for ME to get some ME time as well!

I fight depression and anxiety constantly, and also have fibromyalgia. So taking care of ME helps me to stay healthy and well, and I am therefore able to care for my family and do my best work in my job and Christian witness. If I do not give myself some time away from my work and home life, I find myself becoming more agitated and depressed.

My husband and I started a weight loss regimen this time last year and we have done well on it. Before the holidays, Chris had lost almost 50 pounds, and I had lost 15-20, fluctuating as women often do! So I also want to get back on track and lose the rest of the weight that I have hanging on from birthing children!

Given the above reasons, I am going to work on asking myself,"Is it good for ME?" this year. If it does not contribute to my mental, physical, and spiritual health, I am going to work on cutting it out of my life. That may mean that I have to say no to some things that I used to say yes to, in order to make others happy. I am realizing as I quickly approach my 40s that *I* count, too. I cannot make everyone happy, and I have to live with myself 24 hours a day, whereas these people that I try to make happy are NOT with me all day, every day. If they are unhappy with me, it will pass. If I live in a manner that makes ME unhappy and unhealthy, I have to live with it all the time.

So there it is...2012 will be the year I ask myself,"Is it good for ME?" I will try to do this in a way that is not self-centered, but is done in order to serve my Lord, my family, and my own health and sanity in the best way possible.

I just about asked,"What do you think?!" LOL Yes, I am curious if anyone reading this thinks it makes sense, but first and foremost, I am focusing on the internal peace that I am feeling now that I have actually decided to take care of ME, for a change!! So here is to a new year!! I believe it will be a great one!!

Monday, December 26, 2011


We have had a great Christmas! I am really really tired...I think from running and running for several days and getting very little restful sleep on Christmas Eve. I have missed going to Chris' Mamaw's house, though it made yesterday a tad less stressful to not have to run to Nickelsville in the middle of the day, and we got to spend more time with my family. We showed up early AGAIN to a family gathering, which is rare for us, but now we've done it both at Thanksgiving and Christmas! Maybe we're turning over a new leaf! LOL

I am going to try to get back into a blogging groove for the new year. I miss writing, but sometimes my brain is so tired that I just can't think. My fibro flared up last week/week before last, and the brain fog is a big blogging hamper, too, but I need to push through and do it!

We're having a super lazy day today. Everyone but Robbie is still in PJs. He insists on getting dressed, so he has on a Halloween shirt with Goofy on it dressed as Mickey. Robbie's favorite toys so far have been "Mou" related, though he has wanted to watch "Do" (Dora) more lately.

I know this is a random post, but it IS a post, right?! LOL

Bless you if you read this, and many wishes for a wonderful 2012!!!