Wednesday, March 31, 2010

We have a baby! or It's My Blog and I'll Cry if I Want To...

Wow, do I have conflicting emotions writing this post! I am extremely pleased and blessed to announce that Robert Paul S. made his appearance into the world early Sunday morning at 3:14 am! He weighed 7 lbs., 8.3 oz. and is 20 in. long. He has a head full of dark hair! Birth went smoothly, and I pushed for about an hour. I will write up his birth story for another post, because I need to get out the 'rest of the story'!

We were ready to walk out the door--pretty literally--yesterday when they came to tell us that Robbie needed to stay at the hospital because his bilirubin levels were high. Now, mind you, I've been very pleased with the service here at the hospital, from moment one. The only complaint I have would start right now, and I understand HOW and WHY, so I'm not complaining other than from the standpoint of a new mommy who has never had to have a baby stay longer than I did. I knew he was being checked for jaundice because he had the little bandaids on his heels. I could tell that the whites of his eyes were a tad yellow, as was the inside of his mouth. He wasn't eating the best, but I was told by everyone not to worry too much about that because I was attempting to feed him, and that was the important part. In hindsight, I should have asked about his bilirubin levels being checked, but I didn't.

So even the pediatrician making rounds gave no indication that he would need to stay longer, just that his level needed to be checked, and that they'd come back and let me know. I was just SHOCKED. I was ready to walk out the door and get on with my life, happily! And then they said no. The logical part of me says this is not that big of a deal, but the hormonal postpartum part of me was devastated. Chris was up pacing the floor, and that made me feel like he was ready to bolt, so I finally told him to sit. After talking it over, we decided he'd go on home and get some stuff done and that maybe I'd come home overnight. Then things started getting crazy here on the floor--LOTS of people coming in and having babies!--and thankfully, a nurse said that if I wanted to have a room to come back to, I better stay here overnight.

So Chris brought the boys back to see me....who were pretty wild, understandably, since their routine world has been thrown upside down since Saturday...and mom, my sister, and my sister's best buddy came to see me. That made the evening pass much faster and kept my mind off things. I've been pumping and my milk is coming in nicely, so it makes me feel better that he's still getting MY milk in addition to some supplementing. I have gotten to feed him myself twice, which makes it all worthwhile.

I did fine until about 4 am when I woke up just wide awake. I tried to lay there and get back to sleep, but there's nothing doing. I went ahead and pumped some more milk for him and took it down to the nursery.

OH, and add to this that I had a filling break last night about midnight!!! So when/how/etc. to get that fixed (and I really really dislike visiting the dentist) is added to the stress mix!

I so want to be able to take him home today and I am pretty certain that it isn't gonna happen. For my mental health, I know I've got to get out of this hospital, at least for a while. I know my warning signs for depression and I'm there. I can't stop crying and feel pretty desperate. So if you are reading this and could take a minute and say a quick prayer for me, I really would appreciate it. Though I do NOT want to leave him here, I also know that staying here another night alone is not reasonable for me. We're going to have to make some decisions if he does have to stay.

Like I said, I KNOW that this is not that big of a deal. We're here at the hospital, I have somewhere to stay, he's still healthy and this is a minor glitch. But for anyone who has dealt with depression, you know what I mean when I say this is a HUGE deal. The panic I'm feeling is very real. I know that God is with me and I have the support of my family. But having sat at the house alone all day for 2 weeks before dealing with this has taken its toll. I have known the feeling of being desperate for the sun to come up, and it is not a good one. Again, I ask you to please pray that we can easily get through this cause God is who is in control, and I do know that.

I don't have a sweet and cheery way to tie this up and be super happy. I wish I did. I'm more of the mind of "I've had enough". So hopefully I can come back in a few hours and say we're going home with a biliblanket, and this yuckiness is over. I really really pray that this is what we'll be able to do!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Another exciting week!

Shew! I'm ready for some calmness, myself! LOL I went to the OB early Monday morning again, and my blood pressure had been up a bit on Sunday. So when I told him that, he said he wanted me on bedrest except for light work, and that unless it went up higher, I could work this week and then be off work starting next week. Unfortunately things didn't go quite as planned.

My BP started going above the 'danger zone' as he had explained it on Tuesday. I called the phone nurse after arriving at work on Wed., and she advised me to go on home and rest, and I had another appointment to see him on Thursday. So that's what I did. I wasn't emotionally prepared to leave work almost 3 days earlier than I thought I had, so it was a little upsetting. However, the many many prayers that friends and family have been lifting on my behalf have helped keep me strong.

So starting on Wed., I am laying around on my left side as much as humanly possible. I'll admit I got up and went to see Isaac's talent show on Thursday and went out to eat without children while they were at a birthday party on Friday. And today I'm heading to Isaac's birthday party, but I figure all of these put together are less stress than working all day, right? And I am pleading ignorance since I wasn't told STRICT rules! ;)

Dr. P was pleased that my BP is coming way down when I'm laying on my left side. I see him again on Monday. According to the ultrasound, baby Robbie weighs about 6 pounds, and I apparently have lots of amniotic fluid. The one thing that he said that was concerning to me was that because of the high level of fluid, it would be possible for my water to break. Wish he hadn't said that! But if it does, he assured me that he felt Robbie would be born perfectly healthy at this point. That particularly made me nervous knowing that my mom was going to be out of town on Thursday/Friday, but we made it through that time with no emergencies--and didn't bother telling my dad that he'd be the one on call were it to take place while she was gone! :) See, Chris works 30 minutes away, and Dr. P said for me to get to hospital ASAP were that to happen, so I wouldn't be able to wait for him to come get me. I've already told Chris that when they (he and the boys) go to TaeKwonDo this week that he better leave his phone where he can hear it, just in case! I'm praying many prayers that this won't happen, and that my sweet little boy will stay put for a few more weeks for him to be fully developed and healthy!

My sisters, mom, and some church friends are holding a shower for me on March 27. I also am praying that I can make it to that date without having him! We've joked all along that it would be cool for him to be born on April 2nd, my sister's birthday. It would be extra cool because she was born on our Aunt Bessie's birthday, so it would be repeat of that! It's a definite possibility, as is the possibility of him being born on his Daddy's birthday, March 29. Given the fact that on Monday I was already dilated 1.5 cm, I'm thinking we don't have another month plus before he makes his appearance!

So there is the big update for the week! Given that I am supposed to be laying down, I'm not on the full-fledged internet as much as I'd like to be. I'm using my beloved BlackBerry to get on Facebook, Twitter, and check email, so feel free to check on me there! If you're not sure how to find me there....leave me a message with your email and I'll let ya know!

And any prayers you could send up for us, we'd sure appreciate it!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Excitement you'd rather do without!

Well, last week I went for marathon OB appointment #1. When I was being triaged, my blood pressure was WAAAY up, so they immediately sent me to a room to lay down on my left side to see if it came down. Thankfully, it did, but it bothered my doctor. So on he sent me to have an ultrasound done. The little booger wouldn't cooperate with what they wanted to see with that, so then I got to go on the fetal heart rate monitor for quite a while. Now, mind you, I was already supposed to be on my way to class at Emory, so that wasn't helping my disposition much! Finally I got out of there after about 2 hours. I also had to get a script for antibiotics because something showed up in my urine sample. He scheduled me for another appointment today instead of waiting the usual 2 weeks to keep an eye on my blood pressure.

So today's appointment was bright and early--7:10, to be exact. I thought surely that would mean that I would be in and out of there! Oh, but no--today's visit took 3 hours! LOL

I have to laugh about it or I'd cry. I ended up having to take 1/2 day off work, which I really didn't want to have to do, but such is life. I need to be thankful that I had 1/2 days to take, right?! I could have had to have taken it off without pay.

My blood pressure was better today, but he still wanted to monitor the baby. Ultrasound went GREAT, so I thought still maybe I'd get outta there kind of quickly. But he wanted to do a non-stress test, and I was there doing that FOR.EVER! I'm not sure exactly what he was looking for that the baby wasn't doing, but finally I had to go to the bathroom, and by some miracle he decided he wouldn't have them hook me back up or I still might be there! Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY appreciative that he is being so cautious. I just wasn't expecting it to take soooooo long! I have another appointment bright and early next Monday as well, so at least I will know what to expect.

I honestly went in today afraid that he was gonna tell me I needed to stop working, so I am very thankful that he didn't. I'm trying to just be positive about being able to work for another week, and go with the flow. Chris is being super supportive and is very encouraging about me just taking it easy after work. THAT is wonderful!

Add to it that I had a touch of a stomach bug on Friday and then Adam had it with a vengance Saturday evening/Sunday....and I'm a tired little mama! Poor guy was vomiting every 20-30 minutes for over 2 hours! And then he got sick several times after that, too. Now we just have to pray that Chris and Isaac don't get it, too!

Any prayers you can send my way, I'll definitely appreciate! God is good, and He is in control. It is only when I *think* I'm in control that I start getting frustrated, ya know?!